I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
