This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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