how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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