Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
