and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
