So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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