Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
