they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
