So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
