goodnight i made you a song goodbye
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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