new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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