Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
