I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
