Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize