Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
