That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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