They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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