"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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