Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I fill condoms, not promises.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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