i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
