I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
