A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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