I showed him my bush... on skype.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
