do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
