just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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