you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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