I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
