I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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