How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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