I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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