ugly people sure do ruin things
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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