Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She bit a glass in half.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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