and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
