Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
