gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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