States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
party gras won. party gras always wins.
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I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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