i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
