Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
