no you cant smoke seaweed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
