so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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