when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
