I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
