he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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