Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
