3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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