I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize