So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize