I'm going to jail i love you
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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