I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
