I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
