matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
