Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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