it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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