Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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