so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just cut my nipple shaving
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize