glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize