i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
