Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize