I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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