I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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