sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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