i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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