Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
